(For the sake of not risking misinformation: this is a joke. I am yet to meet anyone in the UK walking a pangolin).
New advice issued today on COVID-19 precautions made several unaccountably missed recommendations.
The advice, issued by an unknown government office, told people that they should not stroke unknown pet pangolins. Those walking pangolins are requested to keep them on a short lead and not to allow them to get too close to strangers. “You should be socially distanced, your pangolin should be socially distanced,” the spokeswoman for this unknown office said.
She also stated the advice that, when passing in a narrow space, one party should walk on their hands while the other stayed on their feet. “It’s a good way of not breathing over the other person.”
The IftPoAaIL welcomed the propositions, saying that it did not understand why these recommendations had not been implemented weeks ago. However, some pangolin owners were bothered by the possible effect on animal welfare, drawing attention to the difficulties of providing the animals with adequate exercise on a short lead, and possible future difficulties with the socialisation of younger animals.
The advice regarding passing in a narrow space has been welcomed unusually unanimously, with the institute of clowns offering online classes in walking upside down.
IftPoAaIL: Institute for the Promotion of Absurd and Impractical Laws. As far as I know, it doesn’t exist, though it may be one of the ancient and seldom used collective names for those who meet in the Palace of Westminster… 😛